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EDDD 11; Thawing Those Frozen Plans

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Frozen waterwheel in front of restaurant in Grayland, WA.  PHALL PHOTO 2013

Frozen waterwheel in front of restaurant in Grayland, WA.
PHALL PHOTO 2013

The beginning and end of tonight’s post went on at 7 p.m., but when I check at 10:30, everything in between is still blank! Frozen. Today’s horoscope didn’t suit my mood and if I wrote my own it would just say, zzzzzzzzz. Yep, I slept my day away, after going to bed around 11 this morn. Mom’s call woke me around 6 this eve and I was sleeping so hard I didn’t know what day or time or life I was in. Depression, she suggests. Nonsense, I’m just on a different schedule than most.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m heading to Alaska soon to help mom and my brother when they have their hip, back and neck surgeries. That’s been moved ahead to January or February. My frozen plans are beginning to thaw. Okay, now if I can get these computers going, maybe I can make a leap of progress in getting the Postcards published. I have a stack of book reviews to write and a small stack of books to read for reviews. I have some more genealogy organizing I’d like to get through, and I am excited about the ancestor info coming from England any day.

That almost sounds like a plan. Don’t be ridiculous! I’m just thinking out loud, in writing. To you. And you probably have all sorts of plans, don’t you? Admit it. And you’ll probably follow through on them. I know you will, because I surround myself with supportive, rational, friends who follow their plans. Cool. I’m psyched now. Here I go to follow my plan…”see” you soon.

Happy 5th birthday to my grandson, Hunter.

Thawed & Planfully Yours,

Patti

From writing challenge Every Damn Day December at http://treatmentofvisions.com/2013/11/26/evdadadec/

I mean REALLY frozen! PHALL PHOTO 2013

I mean REALLY frozen!
PHALL PHOTO 2013

Author: Patti Hall

Writer, daughter, sister, mom, niece, grani, and friend. Works-in-progress; 3 children's books, some poetry and a memoir series, "Souvenirs from My Heart." Pursuits of happiness include gardening, walking the beach, reading, writing, photography, traveling and genealogy. I am a widow (2009), lost my sis in 2012, my aunt and a precious grandson in 2013.

19 thoughts on “EDDD 11; Thawing Those Frozen Plans

  1. You heard it here first folks!

    Depression: There’s denial (a big river in Egypt), and then there’s just flat out refusal to empower it… Mother knows best, except when it’s more about what may concern her (obviously, it concerns her), than what she may actually ‘know’…just the same, some of us simply choose to hibernate this time of year… Mom’s pretty sharp, and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…

    I always miss you most, when you are about to go somewhere far…though, we haven’t had much communication lately…and I rarely see you. I didn’t even manage to put my “no comment” comment, on your comment-commenting thread…sheesh!

    I’m terrified of the neck surgery, much less injections…Started another round of P/T, and another MRI is soon to follow…posture, I tell myself! I can hear your Mom now …”well, you should probably do something about it” and see her smile, with that invisible wagging-finger of knowing just behind it…the smile is sincere, so to is the knowing gesture…

    I was just on my way to sleep when I noticed activity here… I have another ‘bite of the apple’ to be the first one at the ‘plate’ …bat’r -up!

    A changing of the guards…good day to you, good sleep to me, and should we ever disagree… pish to you, I’ve gone to sleep!

    Riddle me this: Why is the water-wheel in the shed??

    Peace, love & Happiness…spring is soon to be here!
    -M

  2. Now that’s just beautiful!

  3. Wow, that’s a lot of surgery. I worked at a hospital for a spell and know about recoveries from procedures. Hip, back and neck is going to keep you hopping, and I know that just from thinking back on what we did for our hip and knee surgeries after Hilary, who I hope does become our next president, messed up health insurance and our unit got to add ‘step-down recovery’ to its name as if ‘multiple-trainwreck skilled nursing’ weren’t enough. I wish I could do more for you than say ‘my heart is with you’.

    I have to add Alaska is one of those places on my list of where to visit and I think it’s cool you get to go there. When I was an undergrad I befriended the woman who worked at my favorite café counter in the food court who happened to be from there. Every summer she’d take her kids to stay with her family in Alaska and return when fall semester began. When I was changing out of my second bad marriage – that would be the one named ‘dumber’ – and had the map opened on the kitchen table deciding on a safe distance, Alaska was one of the thoughts, and I remember noticing the tip of Russia was real close by and thinking to myself ‘if this canal of ocean froze over we could walk to Russia from here. I wonder if you could swim it…’

    It seems our EvDaDaDec has boiled down to three muses. Which would you like to be: Mo, Larry or Curly?

    • Thank you for your good wishes and for sending me some of your heart.
      The hard part for me is just leaving my comfort zone, the cave:>) Oh and there’s the flippin’ cold that I strongly dislike. They are not having the surgeries at the same time, so I will be up there for several months. Mom and I are great buddies, with the same love of reading and gardening. I also get to know my sibs better, as I left when I was a teen. I get to pry more stories out of my dad.
      Hospitals practically toss you out the door now. I never thought of nurses having to take on PT duties being a change, because it seems like they had those duties for many years. Family caregiving is the wave of the future. I think we are heading back to families like your little unit, where grand parents are blended back in for the sake of all 3 or 4 generations.
      I will make sure to send lots of photos. I love the spring when you can practically watch green life racing to the surface of the cold dirt, or unfolding in the still-frigid air, before the cold sets in again. Many miracles to witness.

      Love this phrase, “When I was changing out of…” I had that same map out during my 1st “dumb” marriage. Sounds like a story or a poem, at least.

      Yes, Ak. used to belong to Russia, but swimming across would be hard way to go. A few Russian-Orthodox churches left standing, but I don’t think Alaska really fit the bill for them.

      I’d be the one who’s head is sore from getting bonked all the time, yet just can’t get the words out to say, “Enough already!”
      Thank you for being here.

      • You’re welcome but I know I’ve got the easier part. I’ll be looking forward to those photos.

        I don’t recall the exact moment I thought to name my marriages ‘Dumb and Dumber’, it was some time after the second one that I was so not ready for, but in case someone’d doubt I couldn’t do things worse the second time around I sure showed them. I’ve thrown in the towel on the institution of as it’s called. If there is still someone out there for me, he should run very fast screaming into the night.

        “When I was changing out of” does sound like it could be the beginning of another ‘Love Song Of J Alfred Prufrock’. I believe you’ve just instigated a project. Right now I’m throwing together a small bit inspired by a writing challenge based on things ‘disturbed’ like, delusional, cracked, crazed, delirious, demented… you get the picture. I don’t know if I’ll wind up posting it as EDDD or just slide it between… hmm.

        I call my personal space, whether it be my own place or one of the rooms rented in the past when I was abroad, my womb. It is where I am most comfortable and where I leave the world outside me. When I was a single mom with kids, once I was home with them the world couldn’t touch me. It was nothing to leave work at work – that was when I worked at the hospital and also in home health. PT was still a separate unit, but what we wound up doing was setting up the machines for exercise, ice packs, occasional walks on top of all else. Patients did go to PT too and some moved on to their own room on that unit. We got more psych patients as the first step after surgery – boy did it get interesting then. I remember a woman who’d get out of her restraints as if she were Houdini, and sneak around the unit carrying her ‘purse’ – her catheter bag – under her arm. Sometimes she’d call it her puppy, either that or she saw puppies in the hall and had to get up to make certain we knew – don’t remember if they were barking. Then there was the guy who would sneak off the unit, go across to the main building and check himself back in. Those were the days.

        My mom and I have cooking and shopping in common. She was good at sewing and so am I. When I was younger I seldom bought clothes at the store, I made my own including jeans complete with patches and embroidery! I have one sister and three brothers. My son and daughter are 7 years apart, he left when she was still a kid, so when they get together it is precious time for the both of them.

        Don’t worry, I wouldn’t really try to swim to Russia. That’s the Siberian end anyway, isn’t it? Kind of cold… Is there such a thing as a Siberian Summer?

      • Mine would be dumb, dumber, dumbest and dead. I know, I am morbid, but he would laugh at it too. If a man ever becomes interested in me again, all I would have to say is, good luck with that. I have way too much to do and they are all solitary pursuits.
        You have some good stories in that head of yours. Your hospital tales are funny and a little sad.
        I can’t make a boxed cake right, let alone from scratch, but I do like to cook for my loved ones. Nothing fancy. I have a shopping allergy. It gets worse every year. I think it is because I live alone, no TV and music only when I think about it. I get overwhelmed in stores and always come out without what I needed and with things I didn’t need. I envy your sewing abilities, what a great talent to have from your mom. Does your daughter sew? pass it on if you can:>)
        That’s a little smaller than my family. I hope your aren’t as far away. My son and dau are 2 years and were best friends until they got older. Now it is a love/get outa my face relationship.
        Cold, uh, yes! I don’t believe there is summer, as far as warmth in Siberia. damn, now I have to go look that up!
        Have a great day or evening, I think. I still have a lot on my plate for this day (it is 6 a.m.ish), but will probably crash soon.

      • I was scrolling down the archives for a blog and came across this. I haven’t a clue how I missed it unless it was one of those things that didn’t light up. WordPress gets us one way or the other. Now to talk some more!

        I like my solitude – honestly. I’ve been married twice but it’s never been a marriage to two different men who have never been husbands. I’ve tried to be open to relationships but what I found were men who use and throw away and use my kids to get the use they want. The last time the guy, a nurse who worked with me, out and out lied. He drew my kids in, drew me in, and when he was bored just left. He was going to be their dad and then he wasn’t. We we dumbfounded and very hurt. That was too much. How do you rally your children from such a thing! I’ve been alone since. I’ve found better things to do.

        After cooking for a large family growing up, then for my son and his large friends as they grew up, and of course my daughter and her friends, it was an effort for me to get interested in cooking just for myself and easy to develop bad habits but, living abroad, especially in Italy – I’m half Italian (mom’s side) I keep up with making healthy meals although, if I get myself down I can stray, but for the most part I do ok with it. It gets me back into the shopping strategist that my mother taught me to be. She can smell a bargain a mile away, and knows which grocery stores and markets have what. It’s an art.

        My daughter doesn’t sew but she can draw, paint, all kinds of artsy things. that might be the one good thing she got from her father. I’m a needlepoint, quilting, sewing person. My painting is with thread. Couldn’t knit to save my life though. I can weave – haven’t in eons but I managed that – the mystery of the knot doesn’t compute.

        My son and daughter drifted apart for a while but they’re back. It was difficult for her being so young when he stepped out on his own and wound up in Europe, then Turkey and back only for visits. He was the one she’d go to for problems and then she couldn’t. Also, growing up sometimes there are distractions from what’s important that causes drifting away from each other. I’m glad they’re tight again.

        When I hear Siberia the first thing that comes to mind is frozen.

        I’d like to figure out exactly how our time zones differ. I’ve got a widget-clock on my desktop that has Istanbul time … I could set up one or two more.

        I should crash myself but i’m not tired yet. Guess I’ll keep scrolling…

      • Aha! Another thingy mishap!
        I believe you are in Missouri, I’m in WA, don’t have a map, and those M states get all mixed up in my head these days, but I think you are Central TZ, you are 3 hrs later than me I believe.
        Northern Siberia has only 1 month of summer! Yikes.
        I lost our train of conversation; kids and husbands and such… The there and gone again dad is such a hard thing for kids and moms, probably worse than none at all. You sound a lot more talented in the domestic area than I ever was. Sewing and cooking, anyway.
        We’ll have to catch this train later, as I am so scattered right now. almost 4 a.m. here, time for you to get up soon probably. My sleeping schedule is crazy! Have one of those days that everything goes like you want it to:>)

      • Ok… I have to ask Linda about Canada’s differences. That’s a bigger leap. I know California is 2 hours difference.

  4. In the Eagle river area, there used to be a little Orthodox Cemetary if I remember correctly…a lovely little place. I’m so sorry that the reason you’re going home is because of family problems. Seems we also have something else in common…regetting to know the sibs! Did some of that in 2010 when I went home because my Dad was in a bad way. The other day was strange…I usually wake up at like 4:30 am…and go until around 11:00pm if I’m lucky…but, I did a sleepathon in my easy chair then made dinner and went back to sleep. Must say, I’ve been refreshed ever since. Sometimes you just have to sleep…

    • I will have a look around. In my memories, that town was just an ice cream stop we made on the way to other places. That old blg is there, but vacant and in poor shape. And the town is huge now! All the big box stores and fast food you could ever not want:>)
      Yes, winter is for hibernating and rethinking our itineraries:>)
      My first trip back in many years was in 2007…because dad had a close call. Last year I was there for 4 months caring for mom after accident.
      I’m a stingy caregiver, in that I WANT to be the one to care for her. I know her so well that she feels like an extension of me in many ways. Of, course I am the extension of her, technically:>)
      Good visiting with you, Georgia.

      • Well…40 years changes lots and lots of things…I can’t remember Eagle river being much more than an old building, some picnic tables and a little further on an Orthodox cemetary…who know now…could be my fantasies…nice visiting with you too! Thanks for having me Patti!

  5. Plan? Oh yeah, I have plans busted to pieces and spread across the day. 2:23 PM here and I’m still in pajamas, but eating soup anyway. No blog written for Tuesday, but in your daily blog world, that’s plenty of time. And I’m snowed, so that narrows options. I’m going out with my snowshoes to clear my head and remember how beautiful the world is.

    Alaska in January and two surgeries? OK, I’ll stop whining about my mother-in-law. You have a full plate and it will be cold and dark and busy. Also full of love and beauty. They need you. Fortunately, you can go–and I hear they have internet connections in Alaska, so you’ll keep writing.

    Sending you love, patience, and strength. And I somehow trust you send the same to me.

    • Yes, you can be assured I am sending an abundance of each. I haven’t tried snow shoes since I was a kid, I used to love cross-country skiing. But did you say that you are snowed in? Sheesh, I’ll watch for your smoke signals:>) Does anyone come and plow you out?
      Very warm hugs to you and Willow.

      • Plow guy comes tomorrow morning when snow stops. Did I tell you I like being snowed in? All plans canceled and a peaceful evening. By March, it can get a little old. With my all wheel drive and snow tires, I could get out if I really had to, but fortunately the aides took care of the mother-in-law, so I don’t have to go anywhere.

      • Don’t you have your wonderful women’s group tomorrow? So glad she is taken care of….for now.

  6. You are so courageous, Patti, to attempt posting EDDD! I don’t think I could do it — and keep my sanity too. But was that the part of me that slipped away last year. Who knows?? Good motivator this posting every day thing.

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