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Quit This, Lose That; Once A Phoenix, Always A Phoenix

34 Comments

phoenix

Phoenix Rising from the fire and ashes.
PHALL PHOTO 2013

This time I want to keep the pretty feathers, please. Those ashes just don’t suit me.

You’re not the only one. It’s hard not to wonder if this blogger will ever get back to writing and get published. Even I wonder. With so many changes in such a short period, it will be tough to get back to my goal of publishing books. But, hey, if I can quit smoking, lose weight and make room for romance after several years of loss and heartache…well, I think anything is possible, don’t you? Especially since, not one of those monumental things, were on my To-Do list. In fact, they were all on my To-Ignore list.

The quit-smoking thing continues to stump us all. I have no idea how it happened. I remember being a bit miffed that there was never anywhere warm for me to smoke here (at my folks’ home in Alaska). I know that Kevin and I were talking about taking walks, hikes and other recreational activities, once I got back to Washington in the spring. I’d listened to several… um, let’s just be nice and say, concerns, yes, the folks had shared some concerns about my smoking.

They’d offered up pills, patches, fake smokes, and magic potions. No, wait, no magic potions, but it did seem like nonsense that I should need to…okay, maybe not nonsense, but why should I take the long route? I had a pack left at that point and when I smoked the last cigarette from it, I smoked my last cigarette. 5 weeks ago! Weird.

I think it was the next day that I quit my addiction to coffee. And, although I do have a mocha now and then, I’m no longer drinking caffeine from morning until night. I did not grow hair on my chest or cause bodily harm to others. The folks say that I haven’t even been a grouch. I feel calm and have had no gonna-die-if-I don’t-have-some nicotine-or-caffeine moments. No headaches either. It begs to be typed, so...WTF? It had to be Leslee magic.

Caves induce fat. Before I came to take care of mom in Alaska, I’d been hanging out alone in my cave for far too long. Aside from beach walks and/or photo excursions, there hadn’t been much motion or mobility. A bike ride through the neighborhood once in a while, a few minutes on the stationary bike, sure. In addition, I might have eaten an apple fritter or two. I think I understand now (after experimenting just a little) that even good chips are bad chips.

After I quit my serious addictions of cigarettes and caffeine, evil food was standing there, staring me in the face, “Look, you have nothing else to do with those hands and that mouth, come on over here… into the kitchen…” I caught on pretty quickly and started drinking lots of water and nibbling bunny food. Dad has pretty well given up enticing me with evil things to eat, although I think he still sneaks them when I’m not around.

Tomorrow I will do the unfathomable and join a gym. Mom is making me. We’re getting our hair cut and styled too (like that will make my gym pain any better). Did I tell you that mom “did” my hair and put makeup on me the other day, to take a picture of me? Guess who it was for? Right you are! I hope body tattoos and weird piercings aren’t part of this crazy ritual. I keep telling her that we have seen each other!

Don’t worry about her, she’s just excited for us. Whatever I am on the outside, I’m still me on the inside. Mom knows that :>)

It looks like I might be home by mid-March. Not May, as planned. May is waaaayyyy too far away. Yeah, the romance thing. Mom figures that Kevin and I have talked more than most couples who have known each other for years. Hey, we have a lot of catching up to do…38 years is a long stretch. Not only that, but we’re making plans. To be together.

As far as the writing goes, this will be my next great challenge: How to finish the chapters of the memoir about the love, illness and loss of my Paul, while I’m starting a new chapter in my life? There’s a lot to think about and it’s good to know that Kevin will be there for me and that many of you will offer up your thoughts and support as well.

Thank You,

Patti, who is not a mail order bride (at least I don’t think I am…wait, maybe he ordered me from mom? She has been acting weird.)

Author: Patti Hall

Writer, daughter, sister, mom, niece, grani, and friend. Works-in-progress; 3 children's books, some poetry and a memoir series, "Souvenirs from My Heart." Pursuits of happiness include gardening, walking the beach, reading, writing, photography, traveling and genealogy. I am a widow (2009), lost my sis in 2012, my aunt and a precious grandson in 2013.

34 thoughts on “Quit This, Lose That; Once A Phoenix, Always A Phoenix

  1. Wow! You ARE doing a phoenix thing. Good for you!!!

  2. lOVE THIS BLOG? Very happy for you….and him too. I need/want your help. Larry fell again, this time while was at a show. I have to find someone to stay with him when I am gone overnight. I have Mark in mind….your thoughts.? please. j

  3. You are rocking the transformations. I wouldn’t worry too much about the writing. My story sat in my head for twenty years until it finally came time to tell it. It WILL happen. Congratulations on you and Kevin. Such a sweet story in and of itself. He will need his own chapter. 🙂

  4. Patti, you’re an inspiration! You keep going and going, girl!

  5. The phoenix is such a great metaphor for this inspiring story. Thank you, Patti!

  6. Good luck on the romance thing and congratulations on the coffee thing, I am trying to at least drink less coffee. Encouraging post!

  7. Love the concept of the Phoenix, LOVE the photo. Congrats on all of these momentous undertakings – they aren’t easy. Good for you and good luck with the writing! That can’t be easy either, but looks like you are up for the challenge.

    • Thank you, Arlene. I changed my name to Phoenix after an earlier brush with fire and still love the story and am amazed how it keeps coming up in my life.
      Hope you stop by again.

  8. YOU GO, GIRL! I am SO happy for you! (Can you tell?) I’m thinkin’ that you can deal with the quitting of tobacco, caffeine, and bad food because you have something else in your life that makes up for all of that (aka, Kevin) 🙂 You will finish your memoir of you and Paul, when you’re ready. You just need some time to get literally grounded. And so, perhaps your memoir will end on a Happy note … your epilogue that will let others know that Life goes on. You would make Paul proud, I bet 🙂

    • Thanks for the encouraging words and insights, Marie! Yes, I can tell how happy you are for me:>) It is still weird the way this has all happened at once. Kevin and I talk every day and he just has a way of lifting me up and courting me that i have never experienced. Gushing here. Now blushing. Hugs and thanks for being here.

      • Perhaps things just had to happened this way in your life. You were with Paul, so of course there would be no Kevin. And then you had to heal, at least heal enough to be open to having contact with a long ago romance. Kevin may be in your life now because you are ready to move forward and look to the future. And that makes Kevin one very lucky man 🙂 Big hug to you too!

  9. Your words are inspiring to us all

  10. Beautiful photo. Exciting plans. Gyms can be fun. (I was a personal trainer for 10 years and loved doing what I called the big boy exercises–squats and deadlifts–in the power racks where only steroid muscled guys dared to hang around. “Hey guys, look what a gray-haired woman can do. Nice exercise form, don’t you think? Nice body form, too.” Anything is possible. Many things are possible. March is possible rather than May. All sorts of things happen when love flies in. My well lit very large cage and grief nibbling are not good for my body . Time to go out for a snowshoe in drizzly rain. I’ve procrastinated the last two hours. Hoping for spring and a few exciting unplanned twists of fate.
    Go, Patti.

    • Looks like mid-March is when I’m heading back to Washington. Getting excited. Would love you as my personal trainer! Hope you got out to snowshoe. Must be beautiful. Always on the look out for those twists—for myself and my friends. Thank you for stopping by and commenting, Elaine.

  11. Yay Patti, I am so happy to see the Phoenix rising in you. You have conquered so many beasts, some that people can never over come. You always rock girl and kudos to romance. You deserve the happiness. This hasn’t changed you, you are right, you just have some new fulfillment to share your time with, your writing will emerge when it’s ready! xo

  12. Your words are brimming with happiness and joy! I was smiling as I read…quite a feat today ha! Thank you for being an inspiration and for sharing your amazing accomplishments!! Hugs and Blessings ~

  13. Wow, those are some major milestones. I’ve been on Mathair’s case about her smoking, which she has been working on and doing much better *thankfully*. And, we’ve recently hopped onto the vegan wagon, though I’m missing my Chobani as of late. Don’t know how vegans do it, (everything is made with eggs and milk!!) LOL. Congrats to you, Patti. You’re courage and will power is inspirational and will hopefully leak onto me and Mathair. Can’t wait for your memoir! Happy writing!

  14. incredible photo! like yourself, pheonix rising

  15. Awesome 🙂

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