THE WRITE PLACE…

to find Patti Singleton these days.

Category Archives: BLOG TALK


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Go Ahead And Ask. I Know You Want To.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Purple dinosaur roams the Secret Garden. Essential.

Just where the hell have I been? My last post, aside from the lame January Home page update, was September 2014!!!! Holy tomato, Batman. Sure, I’ve been dipping my toes in the Facebook social pool over the past few months. Just a few lines and a photo or ten, nothing much really.

And, no ma’am/sir, I have not been tucked away in a cozy writer’s retreat tapping out The Great American Novel. I haven’t been off saving the world, one family member or friend at a time either. I haven’t been busy raising a family, promoting a book, working for a living or chairing ten committees.

Nope, that’s you guys. Man, you people have been BUSY!

During my 9-month people-phobia I have had a very limited itinerary; Maggie (the beach cave/home), the Secret Garden, the beach, the post office, the smoke shop and the grocery store. Did you catch that? Yes, I started smoking again, and I’m un-boyfriended too. I suppose I wasn’t ready for either one, despite how great they both (not smoking and boyfriend) were while they lasted. I WILL give quitting another try though.

I spent a month or so in Centralia with my 3-year-old grandson, Cameron, while his mom worked some crazy hours. It was good to be with their little family and it was also good to be back to my beach cave. Cora and Nola came back with me and we spent a fun weekend in the garden and at the beach and marina. The girls made some awesome beach art. Then my Sara, Jon and Cameron came to get them. We had a yummy BBQ in the Secret Garden, they unburdened me of lots of garden goodies, and then they all headed back home.

Aside from beach combing and gardening, I’ve been dabbling in painting and crafting. I spend a lot of time researching and charting my family genealogy. I have so many interests, I don’t think I’ve spent one minute of my life bored. Reading and writing have always been a huge part of my life, but not so much these past nine months.

I watch movies on Netflix sometimes. Last night I watched On Golden Pond. I loved Katharine Hepburn, the lake, the fishing and especially, the loons. The family dynamics were familiar and bittersweet.

I still write weekly postcards to my grandson, Hunter, and every few weeks to my Nola, Cora and Cameron. Other friends and family get snail mail from me occasionally. I sent my adult children, Sara and Jon, “Where’s Waldo” postcards a few weeks ago.

I’m usually up all night and sleep 4-6 hours during the day. I catch the birds singing their dawn chorus at 4:30 A.M. and the often-spectacular sunrise show. At night I get the beach sunset, moon and stars.

I still cry at the drop of a…it was a sock a couple days ago. I was rearranging something and a catch-all basket fell to the floor. As I bent to gather everything I saw a toddler-sized sock. Whether the sock was my grandson Tiven’s, who died in 2013, or his brother Hunter’s, whom I haven’t seen in almost 2 years and who is being moved to the other side of the country this week, it was heart-wrenching. I still avoid the cubby under my bed where I stored their shells, beads, drawings and toys. Hunter’s bright orange toothbrush catches me off guard sometimes.

Since Paul died in 2009, then my cat, my sister, my grandson, 2 aunts, an uncle and several friends, I haven’t moved forward much. I’ve spent a lot of time in Alaska with my parents and siblings, and I’m trying to build strong bonds with Sara’s 3 children.  Most of my adult friendships are on the phone or online.

The Secret Garden and my camera keep me going, as does sharing what I find that amazes me. Publicly, I try to add a kind word or humor when I can. If not, I say nothing.

In the back room of my friend’s garage, are floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall totes. Two households (both mine, both gone) of STUFF. If I could, I would pay for someone to take it all away. That’s not going to happen. My goal is to sell, toss or give away all of it by the end of the summer. Baby steps. I’ll start with 20 minutes a day. Let’s see how that goes. Wish me luck.

So my first blog post in a long time and a goal and plan to unburden myself from my STUFF. Maybe I am moving forward a bit 🙂

Thanks for reading if you made it this far,

Patti

P.S. This was written the last full week in June. Real progress being made on my goal; 6 or 7 empty totes! Grandson moved to undisclosed location, so I’ve decorated an antique box and keep adding his weekly postcards and a few treasures that I find.


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A Blog Schedule? Me?

mail box

Ground mail. Rusty abandoned mail box.
PHALL PHOTO 2014

Yep, I’m going to break down and try the blog schedule thing. I also added a mission statement and a link to my Facebook to the sidebar, and I updated my HOME page.

So here’s the plan:

MEMOIR MONDAY- Every other Monday (beginning May 12th) will be all about memoir—yours, mine and theirs. An excerpt, poem or story from my memoir-in-progress, and/or links, news and reviews relating to memoir reading or writing.

NEWS DAY TUESDAY- Every other Tuesday (beginning May 6th) will be my writer-reader news roundup. Whatever I come across that is newsworthy and of interest to writers and readers.

PROMPTLY WEDNESDAY- If I join in a photo or writing prompt, I’ll post my entry on Wednesdays.

PHOTO FRIDAY- Beginning May 9th, I’ll add photos from the current week and/or photos from my archives to my PHALL PHOTO blog. I’ll pick my favorite photo and post it here, with a link to the photos I added on my photo blog. If inspired, I’ll include a poem, short story, or a quote relating to the photo.

Later, I may add THOSE WHO CARE THURSDAY for care-giver news, fiction and non-fiction stories and information.

So, each week I will have a Monday OR Tuesday post and Friday photos. The rest are occasional.

As usual, I’ll probably include one of my photos to each post, whether it’s relevant to the post, or not 🙂 If you have a post (yours or someone else’s) that relates to anything I post, feel free to add a link to it in your comments.

I doubt that I will be able to completely curb my wide streak of spontaneity, but this schedule will hopefully make my busy life easier, AND allow you to follow posts that interest you.

I’m sure you will, but please let me know what you think about this blog schedule plan. Do you have a schedule or have you tried to implement one? I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

Patti


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Hiatus

Hiya friends and family. I’m taking the last few days of April off. Not actually off, just off the internet. I have X,Y & Z posts lined up to automatically publish over the next three days. I will be back to catch up on any comments that I miss on social media on CORRECTION!!!!! MAY 1st. I’ll leave you with this slide show. Photos taken with my phone yesterday. Peace Out, Patti

Phall Photos 2014

SAMSUNG MORNING IN THE GARDEN

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My Writing Process Blog Tour!

Welcome to our blog tour! Garden gate to my mom's garden. Eagle River, Alaska 2012

Welcome to our blog tour! Garden gate to my mom’s garden. Eagle River, Alaska 2012

Frankly, when Sheree Nielsen at http://shereenielsen.wordpress.com/ invited me to join this blog tour, I thought my plate was too full. That’s because it is! Oh, well, whatever spills over the plate and onto the floor, the chickens can eat. Wait, no chickens here. My neighbor’s dog, Gertrude, can have whatever falls off my plate.

So, um, thank you for adding me to the tour, Sheree! Our little community here LOVES pretty photos, and I know they will hop over to see the ones you and your husband take. You also have that fantastic “healing” coffee table book, Folly Beach Dances, coming out this month. I’m sure it will sell very well!

Sheree was brought to the tour by Mary Horner at http://writrteachr.blogspot.com/ , and she was brought on board by Donna Volkenannt. This is beginning to sound like that old 70’s shampoo commercial, “…and she told 2 friends, and she told 2 friends…” etc.

Okay, down to business, which is to answer four questions about my writing process. (Oh, this should be enlightening!)

1. What am I working on? A better question for me at this time, would probably be: What are you NOT working on? I am not working on my memoir series, the short “Postcards” book, nor any of the children’s poems and stories on my hard drive, that patiently await my attention. Instead, I’m dabbling in this cool blog tour, teasing my muse with the A-Z April Challenge, and reading (and commenting!) on some damn fine blogs. I’m also THINKING about writing A LOT while the dirt collects under my broken nails and sweat forms on my brow from some serious garden work.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre? It may be a bit…looser than other memoirs, I have a hard time sticking to rules when it comes to writing. I write from the heart. When I write for children, I put on my silly hat (one of many—me and the late, great Dr. Seuss have that in common) and tell wild tales that also have some heart thrown in.

3. Why do I write what I do? The memoir was something my late husband and I planned while we spent a year fighting for his life. We wanted to offer some help and humor for others who would follow our path of living in hospitals and short-term housing during a health crisis. Writing for children comes from raising a couple of great ones along the way, sharing laughs with my little grands and never loosing site of my own childish side.

4. How does your writing process work? Ha ha ha ha! A writing process?  I’ve been meaning to get one of those. I bet there’s an app for that! Seriously? For the memoir, and other non-fiction writing, I start with a small mind map in a notebook (very low-tech), then I make a poster-sized one that I can follow as I progress (IF I progress). Basically, I start brain-storming and circling points that I want to make in the book or article. It’s a wildly fun and fast-paced process, where one thing leads to another. Here’s a post I did on it: Mind Map.

No one likes to hear how I write most of my fiction stories, but here goes. I dream them up. Literally. I wake up with an idea, or sometimes with a whole story, and CAN NOT go back to sleep until I get it written down. I usually start in a notebook, but I’m learning to go straight to my lap top instead; transcription is so tedious!

I also use photos to prompt stories, as I did in the B & C installments of the A-Z April Challenge.

Next up on the My Writing Process Blog Tour! are three lovely writing friends, who I think you will all enjoy meeting.

S.K. Nichols at http://redclayandroses1.wordpress.com/ has been a blogging friend since I began my blog. Susan is the author of Red Clay and Roses, a fictionalized true story that blends mystery, rape, murder, drama, and forbidden love into a historical context. She has several other books in the works. Susan is also great about sharing her writing progress, writing book reviews and gathering our community together to discuss writerly issues. She is open, honest and humorous about her journey of writing and publishing.

My second choice for the blog tour is actually a mother/daughter writing team, Inion N. Mathair, at http://inionnmathair.wordpress.com/ . They  have been a writing duo for the past six years and have published YA novels, The Perfect 7, Nightwalkers; The Secret of Jessup and a collection of short stories, From the Dark & Twisted Mind of Inion N. Mathair. Not only prolific writers, but Ginger and Natalie spend almost as much time promoting other writers across their social media network. They write book reviews, present writer interviews and they heavily promote and share all the beautiful, fun, sassy and witty blogs that they discover along the way.

Aside from their obvious writing talent, all three ladies are tops with supporting other writers and bloggers. Please take a few minutes and visit their sites.

Hope you enjoyed!

Patti


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Under Construction

PHALL PHOTOS 2013

PHALL PHOTOS 2013

For the next several days I will be reconstructing this blog. If you pop in and things are mucked up, please return later and, hopefully, it will be repaired. I’ve only been blogging for 7 months, but some of the topics that are my focus are getting clogged up behind some of my “this and thats” of frequent blogging. Everything will still be here, but I hope to make it easier to find.


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New Features and Reflections of Memoir and August

Tan steerette

From my country drive a few weeks ago here. Tan Furry Steerette (not official species name). Maybe it’s the teats, maybe that soulful look, but I love her. Cannot have steerette where I live. I’m so glad that she has that awesome rack (horns not teats) to keep those bad boys away…when necessary:>) I was very sad when we had to leave these new friends behind. I wish they had internet.

New Features & Reflections of Memoir

I have not received enough reader photos here and here to keep that feature going, so I am working on 2 new features that I hope will be more popular and useful. One is for caregivers and the other is for writers. Both of my new features are written as “Postcards” since that seems to be in keeping with my “Souvenirs from My Heart” memoir series. I intend on carrying that theme through all my writing, as it is such a big part of my former and current life.

I wanted to get the memoir postcard series here published this month, but this has been a rough month for me. As you might imagine, my emotions are pretty raw, and time spent on the memoir has been ripping off old scabs. I hope that the caregiver and writer postcard series will give me a short break and allow me step back and breathe for a short time. Both of those series are meant to help others, and that helps me get out of my own emotional way.

Reflections of August

Tomorrow, the 27th, is the anniversary date that Paul and I celebrated our new life together. He would always tease me about my bold, “Why don’t you call me sometime” gesture at the pig roast in 2005 where we were re-acquainted. The 28th was the day of his memorial. What a day. I raged in my journal about how that day was supposed to offer some “closure,” but all it did for me was make my grief worse, because it made Paul’s death so real and so final.

I will certainly be glad when August is over! With Paul’s deathday, birthday, our anniversary and his memorial in the same month, it is always hard. Leaving our home  and gardens for the last time, this past week, added more to my heaping pile of emotions.

The bright side could be, that it is all over in one month of the year. I (with lots of help) am building a new “secret garden” that Paul would love, from what I salvaged from our old garden. This year I also have my wordpress family to add to my supporting and loving circle of family and friends in “real” life. Thank you all.

Heaps of Goodness

Please continue to send all sorts of goodness to my WP friends, Ionia, Belinda and Marilyn, and my real world f/f’s who face serious health issues. For those in my circle facing emotional issues, maybe try what helps me most; give true and loving support to others:>)

I just got word that I did not win the last contest. A BIG thank you for those who took the time to read and vote on my story, “Love, Laughter and Loss” I did not win, but had the most, by 20!, facebook likes:>) Here is how the stories were judged. (I think I only had one person write to the judges.) http://midlifecollage.com/winner-circle/
Again, thank you!

See you soon,

Patti


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THE READER PLACE; Our Reading Habits and Places 2

reading

My son reading to his son:>) Jon & Hunter
PHALL PHOTO 2013

reading

What a cozy reading spot! Luanne already knows I’m going to tease her about the hat :>)

Here’s what some of our other friends have to say about reading, from comments on original post here.

helenmidgley
As the only female in a house full of men, I read to escape, lol. Although my husband would say I read to escape the washing up, the ironing, the cooking and the polishing, but I don’t believe him

tpolen

As a child, I loved reading in the swing on the front porch right before a storm. Now, my very favorite place to read is on the beach, but if I can’t have that, I’ve enjoyed our covered outdoor patio during this mild summer – the weather has been great! I’m the lone female in my male dominated house and, for the most part, the only reading they do is Sports Illustrated.

Susan Call Hutchison
Initially, I wondered if an eReader could ever match the magic of turning pages to devour a story. I found out the ease of having a Kindle app on my iTouch made it my favorite way to read. I can have a LIBRARY in my pocket, and take it out and enjoy, anytime, anywhere. I read the scriptures every morning for 1/2 hour in bed, before I do anything else. My husband and I read aloud to each other every evening when we were first married (34 years ago), and after our first daughter came. We alternated chapters, and introduced each other to the writers we loved. My husband enjoyed reading aloud to our whole family as the girls were growing up. Now that they are out of the “nest,” Marc and I still read to each other, sharing “the good parts.” And both of us read avidly, silently to ourselves. Wherever we want to.

Judy

Susan, my husband and I also read ‘the good parts’ to each other. And, at holiday time, he reads A Child’s Christmas in Wales (D. Thomas) at the annual family gathering. Wonderful way to bond and share. Think we’ve created a tradition with our kids and grand kids.

coastalcrone

What a wonderful image – a boy reading in a tree house! Better than video games. I read in bed every night or read while I am waiting for someone or something.

Ginny

My son hides in the bathroom to read…lol my hubby reads on the couch and I like to read outside or in bed..I cant wait to hold your book in my hands with a cup of coffee and sit outside and read it.  along with a big box of Kleenex.

Thank you all for participating and please keep sending them in!  1writeplacewordpress at gmail dot com I need them by Sunday. Add a link if you have a business or book you want us to visit. I’m still looking for some that Paul took of me reading…

Thanks Peeps,

Patti


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Time To Renew My Welcome. Please Enter Through The Garden Gate

garden, Alaska

Mom’s Garden. Last summer I took care of mom when she was badly injured. Caring for mom meant caring for her garden…what a pleasure:>)
PHALL PHOTO 2012

Apparently, some (old and new) visitors are missing my tabs at the top of the home page. I’ve combined “BIO” and “Welcome To The Neighborhood” in this post in hopes that everyone knows a little about me and where to find this info in the future.

Also, I thank you all for your votes and am happy with 2nd place and to be gearing up for a new contest that begins Monday…details this weekend. Congrats to my new friend, Sharon Cook Leaf who got 1st place! We had a fun race:>)

Without further ado…

I am a writer, daughter, sister, mom, grani, niece, aunt & friend. I strive to do the best that I can in each of these roles, while staying focused on writing and publishing. I live near the beach in Washington State and enjoy my solitude. I spend my time on the beach, writing, reading, gardening, taking photos, traveling and digging into family history.

My name is Patti Hall, nice to meet you! Please introduce yourself in the “comment” section of any post on this blog.

I was born (3 of 7) in Oklahoma City, while dad was in the Air Force; we left when I was two. I spent the next 14 years living with my family on O’Malley Road, just outside of Anchorage. I spent some wandering years and ended up settling? in Centralia, WA, surrounded by my aunt, uncle and cousins.

I raised 2 incredible children in Lewis County, WA and they paid me back with a bunch of precocious, lively little grands. My Grani role is my favorite role yet. Oh, the freedom and delight!

In 2005 I moved in with an old friend, who became my new best friend and love. It was everything that we both needed and wanted. We just fell into happiness and left heartaches behind. Then he got sick.

Part of who I am today is defined by the recent losses in my life. I lost (still looking for him) my perfect fit by way of leukemia in 2009, my feline pal since 1997, in 2010, my fun and loving sis in 2012, and one of my precious grands (age 3) in April 2013. One of the reasons I’m writing is to find my way through this heavy load of grief.

Today I’m a 54 year veteran of this life. I ran away from  home, in the winter of 2010, to a little fishing/tourist/beach town on the Washington Coast. This is where I am…content for now.

And here you’ve found me at “The Write Place to build a community.” I brought along my friends and family and we welcome you and yours to come along with us on this journey. It’s sometimes sad here, mixed with my own brand of humor, and always a place of truth, stories and beauty (I play at photography).

Of course, I do swish the truth around a little in my poetry and children’s adventure stories.

I take everyone here with me as I get my writing act together and start publishing. On the site, I include worldly news, a bit of my daily grind, and writerly tips as I find them. Sometimes I join one of WordPresses’ daily prompts and post the results on the site.

So, welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Patti

Frivolous odds & ends about me…

  1. I love the sound of chimes; I even have some hanging on a curtain that I brush past regularly.
  2. I love smelling like camp fire.
  3. I sleep with a blanket, sheet or pillow over my head.
  4. I sing, talk, shout and memorize poetry while beach combing.
  5. I don’t watch or have a TV.
  6. I love to fish, especially in Katchemak Bay, Alaska.
  7. I love to free-style dance to jazz and blues.
  8. I swerve to miss frogs on rainy days and nights (watch out!).
  9. Our family raised a pet raccoon, Ricky, who retired to the Alaska Children’s Zoo.
  10. I have been in every state in the U.S., including Hawaii.
  11. I have email subscriptions to Hawaiian and Greek newspapers (written in English!)

Author Bio

Patti Hall’s current writing includes poetry, blogging, fiction (essays, stories, children’s books), and non-fiction (memoir and journals). My main writing focus is a 3-part memoir, Souvenirs from My Heart, about love, illness and loss. I am 3/4 of the way through the “illness” book, The Patient Patient Advocate.

Writing Background 1989-2010: Patti wrote online articles and a weekly column for the now defunct “She’s Got” network. Her site, Rising Writers, for aspiring young writers was voted Top 101 Writers Web Sites in Writer’s Digest for 2000. Patti was contributing editor to an online home school newsletter, and her poetry and essays  have won several awards and honors. While attending The Evergreen State College Patti presented her women’s anthology, “Finding Our Voices” at an out of state college symposium. She was editor of the Centralia College newspaper and, as assistant Public Information Officer for the college, wrote articles for the local newspaper.  Patti taught  a writing class for inmates at a women’s prison and another for parents and children at a homeschooling conference. She has composed newsletters for communities and businesses, and has always been the go-to writer for her friends, family & community.


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Request Advise and/or Feelings About Using Your Comments

My dog pals; Gertrude, in back, the late :>(Tanner, and Roo in front. Another photo with no relation to my post :>)

My dog pals; Gertrude, in back, the late :>(Tanner, and Roo in front.
Another photo with no relation to my post :>)

As you all know, I’m publishing  the Souvenirs from My Heart “Postcards” serial, which I posted here in July and August. I feel that it would add a lot to include comments that you made as I ran the serial on this blog.

I’ve done some research and can’t find a definitive answer about adding your comments. Here are some of the questions that I’m pondering:

1-Is it legal? ethical? to add your comments?

2-Do I add them all anonymously, or include the name you used to post the comments?

3-Should I offer to include your blog links to your comments?

4-Do I have to have signed releases by everyone?

After a final professional edit, I’m ready to publish the “Postcards” serial, so what do you think, should I hold off and add comments or not? Frankly, if it is going to add a lot of time to the project, I will probably not add the comments…

Thank you for your input!

Patti


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THE READER PLACE; Our Reading Habits and Places

READING rooster alaska

Bob the reading rooster. This photo has not been touched or retouched. This story is real.
Alaska, USA
PHALL PHOTO 2012

The first Monday reader photo for our first weekly feature, The Reader Place, is Bob the rooster.

Bob came into my life just when I needed a good friend. I was in Alaska for 4 months last summer, because my mother had an accident that left her unable to care for herself. I was there for mom and Bob was there for me.

I had briefly met Bob the February before, when my family gathered to mourn the loss of my sister. Bob and I bonded over our grief out on the cold porch, while I smoked and cried. (He was not allowed to smoke due to his burnable nature) I kept us both warm with blankets, and occasionally, Mom’s 100 lb Rotty mix, Sophie.

When I returned in May, Bob rejoiced. His was a solitary life spent sitting on the deck that overlooks a busy road, waving at all the passersby.  That’s why I taught Bob to read; he needed a diversion from his lackluster days on the deck.

Next thing I knew he was stealing my mocha’s and my books. People came to visit and he would pull every conversation over to the book he was reading. I’d created a monster! The final straw was when I caught him as you see in the picture; he has my reading glasses (Bob has perfect eyes!), the mocha that sis Laura brought by for me, and my latest murder mystery.

We finally agreed on some ground rules.  Bob got his own library card, reading glasses and an empty mocha cup, since with Bob, it was all about image.  He meets with a readers group every week to discuss his books and him and Mr. I.V. Poley text each other often. That’s enough about Bob, let’s move on to the next photo.

Hope for school photo challenge in Bavaria. Photo by Nicola

Hope on a snow mound for her school reading challenge in Bulgaria.
Photo by Nicola

Mom Nicola says, “Here’s the pic, as promised. My nine year old (Hope) did it for her school, as they were having a reading challenge of the most interesting place to be snapped whilst reading.  It is taken in Pamporovo, Bulgaria.
Nicola Young
nikkiyoungwrites.wordpress.com

A very creative young lady. Look at that snow falling! Oh, Bob just wrote in to say he’s seen the snow in Alaska all the way up to his deck! Bob has attention issues, excuse him everyone. Thank you Hope & Nicola, and make sure you all stop by Nicola’s WP blog. Next photo, please.

Cousin Jimmy reading.

Cousin Jimmy reading.

Another reader in our family. I love the picture of a window on the wall.  How can he read that tiny thing? He doesn’t even have glasses on. He MUST need them, he IS five months older than me:>) Is this staged or not?

The next photo is his sis, Elizabeth. My cousins have the wonderful habit of coming through for me when I need them:>)

Cousin Elizabeth reading in bed.

Cousin Elizabeth reading in bed.

Looking cozy, Cuz! I think I’m going to save the comments that people sent in for next Monday, I bet you’d all agree that Hope wins for most unusual, Bob wins the mascot award and my cousins get the loyalty award. Thank you all for participating and please keep sending them in!  1writeplacewordpress at gmail dot com I need them by Sunday. Add a link if you have a business or book you want us to visit.

Thanks Peeps,

Patti

 


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Writer’s Journal and New Photo Site and Anticipation

Anticipation! Blackberries Phall Photo 2013

Anticipation!
Blackberries–CLICK TO ENLARGE
Phall Photo 2013

I finally did what I said I would and created a site for my photos. It is still new and challenging, but I hope you like it, you can find it here.  You can borrow or print my photos, just let me know in the comment section and attach my site address to any photo you take. I hope you have fun watching me progress as I get more experience. Still adding a photo with most posts here.

Don’t tell anyone, because its not official yet, but I finished at Camp National Novel Writing Month! Don’t get too excited; I am still a long way from publishing. There is a lot more material to sort through, edit and edit again. Let’s not hold our breath on this one. Mom, it will happen, but great things take time:>)  (Said with much more confidence than I actually feel.)

I’m going to add a feature to my little home here and would like your help. I visit many blog sites each day to keep up with my new writing and photography friends, and I thought of something that would help new visitors.  I’m going to add a side bar feature for those who want to check out my site real quick, just to see if they want to follow it. I’ll call it something like,

“If You’re In A Hurry, Here’s the Best of Patti’s Site”

That’s why I need your help. Can  Will you take a few minutes and copy & paste, or just type a post title that you think best shows what I’m doing here? Or even your favorite post or page. Next to the title at the top of the main page, are “BIO” & such, and those are pages. So far, it looks like my bio and “Welcome to the Neighborhood” pages are the most popular. But you guys have been here awhile and know what would bring you back if you were new.

On a personal note (is anything personal these days? I mean, I saw my son in the hospital on Facebook!), yesterday my son swerved to avoid a head-on collision and ended up crashed into a river. He was alone and the car was totaled. Some passersby helped him get out and the ambulance was called. My daughter was near and rushed to his side and kept me informed. He is okay, as far as all the tests show. Banged up, a seat belt rash on his neck, a sore neck and back, but okay. It was a tense day, to say the least, which I will.

Stayed tuned for the next post…a fairy tale for bloggers/writers, but hopefully, amusing to the rest of you. I also owe you a new installment of the serialized memoir…also on its way.

Thanks for hanging in here with me—you are great! I think I have almost 600 followers and nearly 3000 hits. Not bad for the new girl on the block (who is clueless to how this all works).

Patti


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I Made A Mistake; 2 Mistakes, Really

Header of THE WRITE PLACE

Header of THE WRITE PLACE

Below Header, front page of THE WRITE PLACE

Below Header, front page of THE WRITE PLACE

These are not Hollywood or politician mistakes. After all, no one caught me red-handed and forced a confession (or pointless denial). I haven’t ruined my reputation, let down my fans or lost constituency votes.

One mistake has to do with being a newbie at website building, the other is about actual content. Both mistakes are based on what I ASSUMED–making an ASS out of U and ME :>)

Business (Writing) vs Personal

In my last post I included information about why I would be absent for a day or two (an assumption that I have some huge readership that would even notice).  Explaining the why details of my absence was another mistake.

I initiated this website to build a community of  like-minded readers and writers who would exchange support and information on the  path to publishing books. What they call a writer’s platform,  is a #1 must-have for anyone publishing in this new computer based world; whether traditional or self-published, you must have an established following online.

I knew that I could do my part in supporting fellow writers and welcoming readers; although I am a cave girl/hermit/beach gypsy I am a great anonymous hostess. That is because I feel deeply. This is no marketing ploy, it is who I am.

Off-Line Family and Friends (F/F)

That said, I also maintain an e-mail bloggish kind of thing that is sent semi-regularly to my little circle of family and friends. My intention was to keep personal stuff on the F/F e-mails only. It’s tough to maintain that when a lot of my writing includes my personal life. All that to say: I intend to get back to my initial intention and keep details of  my “real” F/F off this site. It’s not that they mind at all. And it’s not just the mention, but there are aspects of my family’s life that I do want to keep off this public venue. Nothing mysterious, just not for public consumption.

Viewpoints

Now, onto my other assumption mistake. I was blown away to see what my blog site looks like on my aunt’s pc and my daughter’s smart phone. My aunt can only see 2 columns and the smart phone only shows one. You can see in the pics above, what I thought everyone was seeing (3 columns with header). Big difference, huh? So, now I get to do some homework and see if there is a wordpress  “theme” (template) that will work better for everyone who views this site. I also know that browsers make a difference, so I will explore that too. I use the  Google Chrome browser, so I will check out IE, foxfire, and others. I am growling over this, since I have spent the past 3+ months building my little cyber home.

Comments and “likes”

I got to see firsthand why some can’t comment on or like my blog posts.  You do have to sign up with wordpress, but you only have to give your e-mail addy and make a password. That is good, because it gives one level of security to my site. Sorry for the hassle though. I can’t remember what you click on, but you’ll know it when you see it…scroll down to the place that says “log in” “RSS” etc and it is there. When you get to the WordPress  page it looks like you have to make a blog, but you don’t. On the right is part of a sentence that is colored (hyperlinked) and says something like, “I want to sign on without building a blog page”, click that, put in your e-addy and a password and you’re in! I went through this process with my aunt, but forgot to take notes.

I will add the word you click on as soon as I get it from someone who is not on wordpress :>)

If you have wordpress website or browser advice I would love to hear/read it.

Please add comments, questions or “like” if you are able to.

Patti


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Speaking of Community; What About The Children?

I won’t spout off the statistics, of which my family is included in, but is there a child at risk in your neighborhood?

We can all do something to help better our community by watching over the children within our community.

This website: Child Welfare Information Gateway at https://childwelfare.gov  has some low risk, high impact suggestions for making the world we live in better, especially for the children.

  • Get to know your neighbors. Problems seem less overwhelming when support is nearby.
  • Help a family under stress. Offer to babysit, help with chores and errands, or suggest resources in the community that can help.
  • Reach out to children in your community. A smile or a word of encouragement can mean a lot, whether it comes from a parent or a passing stranger.
  • Be an active community member. Lend a hand at local schools, community or faith-based organizations, children’s hospitals, social service agencies, or other places where families and children are supported.
  • Keep your neighborhood safe. Start a Neighborhood Watch or plan a local “National Night Out” community event. You will get to know your neighbors while helping to keep your neighborhood and children safe.

Everyone is cautious in these days of high crime, drug and alcohol abuse and economic crisis. Use common sense, but please don’t ignore your neighbors. Please don’t go home and shut the door on  your community.

Do you wave and smile at your neighbors?

Rant over, I will now return you to your life…

Thanks for reading,

Patti

 


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New! Book Review Page and Reflections For The Memoir

“Widow Stories” by Michelle Latiolais is my first book review; under the new heading at the top of my blog site. On the techy phones, my daughter says that the new pages that I’ve added at the top are in a drop-down called “Menus.” Below is an essay I wrote for the memoir after reading this book and writing the review.

In “Widow Stories” by Michelle Latiolais, I found these words comforting: “She doesn’t want them anywhere near how shattered she is.”  The comfort I feel is from reading words that reflect my own feelings. After my husband’s death I was unable to articulate this feeling in spoken or written words. After the recent death (MUST I SAY THAT WORD; CONNECT IT TO THIS SWEET CHILD?) of my grandson I wrote these similar words in a poem: “Not fit for the nurture of others; their sympathy shatters the broken pieces of my heart…”  On most days, one sympathetic word or gesture sends me into meltdown, which then makes me want to protect my loved ones from how “shattered” I am.

In another story Michelle talks about “…the mythology which the human animal makes sense of pain.”  This speaks volumes about my choosing to believe our lost ones are “up there,” in my recently posted letter to Paul, as well as the ghostly visitors in my poem, “Visions On The Beach.”  It is obvious that, like other writers, Michelle and I are using our writing to help make sense of the pain. No matter how many times I experience it, it always amazes me how my heart swells with the comfort of knowing that someone else feels as I do.

Michelle contends that, “You will be alone now, but never alone again from the company of loss.”  I have to agree, because, even as you begin to heal and join the world, that loss will always be with you. However, when you set the table for guilt, change the sheets and place fresh flowers out for guilt, you also build your house on a foundation in the company of loss. With each death I have carried away a suitcase filled with guilt. I do know that pretty much everyone associated with the death of someone close feels some degree of guilt. I know that. I just don’t know how they “manage” it; how they get up and shower and carry on with their normal life. I haven’t given up trying to send my guilt packing, but it may take some time.

People try to comfort me, and offer variables of  “At least you had that great love.”  I now have Michelle Latiolais’ perfect answer: “One wants what one has loved, not the idea of love.” I know that it is Paul I want, not some idea of the love we shared. “Yes, but I want my Paul,” has become my mantra since his death.  However unreasonable it may be (and I do realize it IS unreasonable), I want the actual person, not the idea. Maybe the most comforting words would be, “I wish I could bring him back to you.” My mom simply says, “I know, honey,” and that usually calms me down.

Michelle Latiolais’ little book of stories has helped me acknowledge and explore some of my own pain from the loss of loved ones.

I would love to hear your thoughts, please leave me a note in “Leave a comment” which is located to the left of the title.


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New! Dedicated Memoir Page and Sneak Peek of Prologue

I’ve gathered all my memoir-associated blog posts, notes, poems, essays and excerpts into one page that you can find at the top of the main “Home” page. Anything I do online having to do with the memoir, will be placed in “MEMOIR” for safe keeping and easy reference. Here’s a sneak peek at the prologue of my book-in-progress.

PROLOGUE

In 2008 my late husband (we were not married until later) was diagnosed with leukemia; after the initial shock became almost bearable, I began an online patient journal to update our friends and family of Paul’s condition.  At first the online journal was written on a laptop that my cousin loaned us, and then Paul bought us one. I wrote the patient journal at Paul’s bedside, or next to him in our temporary housing; that journal went on for a year. Paul listened to the entries before I posted them and would occasionally have me add a message for a specific person, or his peers at the fire department. He especially loved hearing me read the sometimes funny, always supportive, comments.

A few weeks after his death I began an email journal of my painful progress through the nightmare estate issues and my stunted grief process. The email journal went out to our incredible circle of family and friends and continues today.  Along with my journal entries are pictures, poetry, and incredibly supportive reader comments.

Six months after Paul’s death, I ran away from home; to the beach. Our home was home no more; it was a raped and pillaged shell that had once been the comfortable shelter of our love. Home was now held hostage in a gripping tug-of-war between lawyers and adult step-children, and then more lawyers and new insults from the same adult step-children.

Grief was made to sit along the sidelines, impatiently waiting to have its turn at me. For 6 months, the punitive damage against my very being, the onslaught of accusations and my own impotent defenses beat me down. Every single day for six months, I was ruled by the next-shoe-drop theory.

It was down to flight or fight, and I had no armor for fighting. I could barely attempt even a weak defense against those enemies beating at the gates. The demanding, insensitive treatment that I received sent me running for cover: to the imagined imprint of my husband’s body in our bed.

During those retreats to our bed my world became a string of flashbacks; two memories ran like film loops behind my swollen eyes. In Seattle, when allowed freedom from the hospital and the clinic, we aimed my little Nissan Frontier straight for a tiny strip of beach near by. It had been a Eureka! moment when we found that secret beach on one of our escapes.

We walked that little beach for as long as Paul could bear to be upright. We collected beach treasures to aahh over back at our temporary apartment. A lonely dog showed up once in awhile and chased the rocks that Paul threw into the waves. Other times he just followed Paul’s slow meander down the shoreline. Sometimes Paul insisted that we go to the beach; I silently wondered how he could even manage the long steps to the truck, let alone the challenging walk along the sand. His determination made me keep my worries to myself.

The other flashback was from a fun day on an ocean beach. On one of our few escapes back home, I unloaded the truck, grabbed the camera, and then we headed back outside with provisions for the day. We climbed into Paul’s 50th anniversary black T-bird, I tied a luscious silk scarf to my head, added big shades, and we became cosmopolitan tourists for the day.

Minding the clinic rules to stay away from people, we window-gazed the ubiquitous souvenir shops and scanned seafood menus on restaurant doors and windows. We picnicked on his “safe” food, and then silently walked the beach, allowing the colored rays of sunset to sooth our troubled minds.  Although we missed ducking into the shops and tasting the local clam chowder, we came to understand that there’s much to be said for souvenirs held only in your heart.

These are the flashback scenes that surrounded me in my bedroom retreat during those first 6 months. Those memories led to thoughts of other times that I had found sanctuary on the beach. Many times during single-motherhood, I bundled up my nursing son and my toddler-daughter and made excursions to a friend’s beach cottage on Puget Sound, or to the sands of Ocean Shores. I recalled treasured memories of Huntington Beach, California, with my beautiful red-headed sister and our young families.

As beach memories crowded my thoughts after Paul’s death, it was automatic pilot that managed the details of the next episode of my life. Without that autopilot, I could never have abandoned our home; that sacred (albeit de-sanctified) place of “us.” As some have suggested the opposite, there was no bravery involved at all. Autopilot shielded me from sinking into fear, thus absolved me from carrying the tag of bravery on my weary shoulders. Autopilot also served up a pair of wings for my flight to the beach.

Maggie is less than 300 square feet of all mine. She’s as safe as the bedroom closet that our dog, Jake, snuggled into during fireworks and storms (and not much bigger!). We’ve been together for over 3 years and I know that Maggie holds no secret shadows. She’s a travel trailer who beats her chest with happiness when salty winds batter her metal skin. She sings along with the chimes I hang, and apologizes unceasingly when her plumbing proves imperfect. Maggie is home… and only a short walk to the beach.