to find Patti Singleton these days.


A Terrifying Tale of 3-D Gravity; Hold On!

A screen shot of the Gravity preview, ticket stub, and real 3-D glasses w/bag that they came in. PHALL PHOTO 2013

A screen shot of the Gravity preview, ticket stub, and real gorgeous 3-D glasses w/bag that they came in.

You can take the “Gravity” movie review shortcut; it was a great movie, go see it. Or you can take the long way, like I did. I have enjoyed watching Sandra Bullock age gracefully, and become a better actress over the years. There were a couple fluff movies, but I still watched them to get another sample of her wonderful humor. Nothing like a stressed out Sandra.

Then there’s George Clooney. I have just plain enjoyed watching him. And he is also great to just watch, cinematically speaking. Some of his movies were not so great, but they could easily be made better by cutting everything except George out of the movie…so I could just watch him. Okay, I’m over that for now.

The closest movie theater to Westport, Washington is a 40-mile round trip. It was an arduous trip, because the sun was setting behind me all the way. I kept getting glimpses of the spectacular color show in my rear-view mirror. I’d slow down and look longingly at my camera in the seat next to me, and then at the clock, which nagged me to put my foot back on the gas. Luckily the traffic was light and my frequent gas vs brake battle didn’t risk any lives. By the time I got to the theater, the nature show was over, but I did get this shot of the moon.

Moon over South Shore Mall, Aberdeen, WA PHALL PHOTO 2013

Moon over South Shore Mall, Aberdeen, WA

I should tell you that I haven’t been to a movie theater in…not sure, but a very long time. Movies just aren’t in my budget, and I can see why. Ticket + popcorn + drink=$22.50! I really wanted M&M’s to go with my popcorn, but that was another $3 or $4. I don’t mean to sound cheap, but think of all the gas I could buy with that money. Okay, bad comparison.

Another thing I rarely experience are malls. I’m just not a shopper. (Paul was, but don’t tell him I said so.) When I walked through the entrance I was immediately lost. I had to ask a couple of girls, that were hanging out in a beauty shop, where the theater was. As I walked further and further into that deserted retail tomb, I considered leaving bread crumbs to find my way back to the entrance when the movie was over. Later you’ll see why even bread crumbs wouldn’t have helped.

I paid my pretty penny, grabbed my grub and went down a hallway to door #5. Some pre-movie, pre-preview nonsense was playing when I entered. Sheesh! I had the whole place to myself. I picked a lovely seat in the center and waited. A middle-aged couple shyly peeked in, and I welcomed them to my private showing, and generously invited them to chose any seat they wanted. They laughed, even if you didn’t. As three more couples joined us, we all joked about how empty the place was.

Okay, all the previews were over and I grabbed my hermetically sealed “real D 3-D” glasses (do not use for sunglasses). They fit perfectly :>) This was my first 3-D movie and I was a little nervous, and not just about the way the glasses looked either. I was also nervous about being scared spitless and maybe even screaming. And I was scared, but just a couple times, and no screaming. It was all worth it though. Did you know that 3-D makes you feel like George Clooney is, well, practically in your lap! ? I didn’t either. I’ll never give these glasses up. They are worth billions to me.

My George Clooney, I mean, 3-D glasses. PHALL PHOTO 2013

My George Clooney, I mean, 3-D glasses.

Floating tears, I can’t say whose, looked as if they were floating in the air in my private screening room! In another scene a strap came loose and it began floating right out of the screen, right in front of me! What magical illusions! It all seemed so real, that when space debris came flying at me at a billion miles an hour, I actually flinched! I think I got whiplash.

The movie had an unbelievable, I do mean really unbelievable, story line, but I’d still recommend it. I love a strong, brave-woman-movie, I love space, and, I probably haven’t mentioned it, but I love George Clooney. The movie is also shown at theaters, without the 3-D, but why?

Now, back to the bread crumbs. When I walked out of the theater and turned right (I remembered that much), there was a fence/barricade across the wide hallway that should have led me back to the main part of the mall. I had it all figured out: right, right, left. Nope, not gonna happen. Mall closed for the night. See how the bread crumb idea was a wash? My only choice was to turn around and go out the back way. Into the dark.

I stepped out of the large doorway and was completely disoriented. (Huh, just like when I stepped in.) The few people in the parking lot were getting into their cars, and I was too embarrassed to ask which way the front entrance was. I followed the sidewalk to the right for a couple of minutes, but it just didn’t feel like the way to the front of the mall. So, I casually turned around and walked the other way. It was a very long walk and it was dark, except for a few widely spaced flood lights on tall poles. A bicycler whizzed by. That was weird. None of the theater goers drove by. That was weirder. I practiced holding my ignition key like a weapon. I hummed a little tune. I looked behind me, and in all the building nooks and crannies (surprisingly, there were many places for scary people to hide). Then the damn flood lights went out! I am so not kidding.

It was completely dark and I still had not made it to the front of the mall. All I could do was to keep walking. Why didn’t I even have a flash of a thought about the cell phone in my purse? I could have called someone and told them what a silly scary-movie character I had become. I finally made it to my truck and refrained from kissing it.

Ask anyone, I used to be street smart. I think that I’m off movie theaters and malls for awhile. I wonder if Netflix has any 3-D George Clooney movies? Back to the beach cave for me.

I should have gone with  my cousin.

I didn’t mean to call this a movie review up there in the first line. We both know that is isn’t, but I hope you at least get a smile out of it.